Ventriloquist Chick Has Webcam Sex With Her Dummy
Huff Po – Veronica Chaos is definitely taking ventriloquism into new places — like the bedroom. For the past year, the 26-year-old former stripper has been doing online ventriloquism shows that climax with her having sex with a dummy, “Slappy.” “He’s bad cop and I’m good cop. He’s the misogynist and I’m the battered wife,” is how she describes their dynamic to The Huffington Post. “The idea is, I put up with him because I love him so much.” The sex shows are designed to be slightly creepy. They usually involve scenarios with Slappy in the role of Willie Wonka while Chaos is an Oompa Loompa, or Slappy as Sherlock Holmes to Chaos’ Dr. Watson. “Sometimes, we’ll do a ‘Freaky Friday’ thing where we switch bodies,” she said. “I dress him up like me and I dress like him.” Chaos, who only gives her address as somewhere in the Pacific Northwest, does her kinky ventriloquism shows three times a week online. The idea of combining ventriloquism with sex came in a moment of desperation when she realized she needed a gimmick to stick out in the crowded online sex show market. “There were only 10 to 20 people in my ‘room’ at any given time, and I found my site ranking falling every day. It was time for something new,” she told Cracked.com. One day, when Chaos was looking at YouTube videos, she saw a ventriloquist and inspiration struck. “We sing a duet and I give him oral sex,” she said. “I debated whether I should do full penetration, but it takes a while to get him into me and that’s difficult when I’m also singing a song.”
So this is where we’re at now, people. This is where we’ve arrived. This is what it has come too. The internet is so saturated with fucked up, perverted porn that we’re resorting to this chick blowing her puppet to get our rocks off. Gone are the days of just being happy you can watch a video of a threesome for free on the internet. A facial is no longer enough. Now we search for things like revenge porn and sleep assault. We need casting couches and sexual violence. We need a goddam ventriloquist singing songs with her dummy while she sucks his dick. Its not enough to just bust a nut anymore. We want to bust a night and then have vivid nightmares about what we watched later that night. Hey I’m not judging. I’d did a quick google search for Veronica Chaos to see what this dummy sex was all about. All I found was a couple videos of her dressed up in a Star Trek costume fisting herself. Equally as fucked up, but not the ventriloquist sex I was looking for.
But my point is that its 2014. The world is gonna be around a lot longer. We’ve got like thousands of years to go. So if we’re stooping to ventriloquist dummy porn already, where do we go from here? Its like we blew our load – both literally and figuratively – too early.
PS – Her Tumblr account has GIFs of her dummy sex and it is some wacky, fucked up, sexy shit